The Launch

I realized that I have yet to post on the old blog the exciting news of the launch of the new Pinked Perspective website and non-profit. Since I have never been able to track my subscribers here on Blogger, I don't want to miss inviting anyone to become a friend of the new Pinked Perspective. Please visit us at www.pinkedperspective.org and be sure to subscribe your email over there. Also please “Like” the new Facebook page if you get a chance too. I can't wait for you to see the changes and hear about how we can support others facing breast cancer.

Home

One of the many things I have learned from my breast cancer journey is to slow and take time to honor where I have been. For me, it is all about remembering, and with remembrance comes great gratitude to see how The Lord has and always does provide.

In some ways it seems silly to honor a house. After all, isn't my home really in heaven anyway?

But as I reflect on why I am so emotional about the sale of my childhood home, I realize it is not about honoring four walls and a roof, it's about honoring the story of lives lived within those walls and a roof. It is about a love that filled it, a love that let me know I was secure and always accepted.

Not all can say they lived in one spot most of their lives, but I did. And even when life took me to other places for a season, there was great comfort in the fact that I could always come home. It has become home to my husband through the years, and it continues to be a place my kids can't wait to get to.

The memories that were made within are too many to count. Many include soccer balls in the front yard with my two older brothers, and now my son.

The life lessons and “could have done things better” moments were abundant. Thank goodness for forgiveness and a soft, safe place to land.

The people that have spent time there (and been blessed by their time spent) are more than I could ever recollect. Hospitality has always been done well there.

As I prepare to say goodbye to this precious place in less than a week, I cling to the fact that it is not at all about walls and a roof. It is about the love, the security, the memories, the lessons, the hospitality, and most importantly the people. The walls and roof will stay…and that is hard. Gratefully, all the others don't…and that is grace.

We Have a Date for the 2nd Annual Think Pink Fun Run/Walk!

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

(Details to follow)

We will be collecting items again for the Kits that we provide for women facing Breast Cancer Surgery.  

Going and Making

“How do I know God is real?” “What will heaven be like?” says our deep thinking kindergartner. I have prayed for these moments. I understand the sweet significance of these moments. So why am I left feeling somewhat regretful in these moments?

Perhaps it is the echo of a certain scripture passage about always being prepared to have an answer for the hope you have.  Or maybe it is the conclusion of an incredible study of Matthew with my BSF class that leaves me feeling like I could've done better.

In the final words of Jesus before His return to heaven, we are given a calling, a purpose for this life. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. (Matthew 28:19-20a NIV)

I consider my own disciple-making, and the faces of a dimpled boy and a brown-eyed girl come to my mind. The calling is not without reason, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.” (Matthew 28:18) Nor is it without promise, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20b) However, the weightiness of the calling leaves this momma feeling completely inadequate.

It is humbling to know that my every insecurity has already been answered with the Truth of His Word. In the struggles and victories of twelve unlikely men, in the utter insincerity of the Pharisees, in the passion of a few significant women, in the precise fulfillment of prophesy, and in the teachings and living example of my Savior, Jesus, I have learned what it looks to be a disciple. The pages of Matthew in conjunction with the circumstances of the last nine months have given me better understanding that the going and making starts with me.

In my study of Matthew this year, I have learned:

• A disciple sees crisis as a challenge to her worldview and can lead to a fresh encounter with the Holy Spirit.
• A disciple realizes she was created for worship and brings the best of what she has to offer.
• A disciple precedes the coming of The Lord and humbly calls the "brood of vipers” to repentance.
• A disciple falls in love with Jesus by knowing who she is on the inside and understanding her deep need for Him.
• A disciple continually checks her motives and has a true longing for what pleases God.
• A disciple resists addiction to man's approval for the sake of the only reward that matters, the long-awaited applause of heaven.
• A disciple seeks first His kingdom for her needs to be met, and therefore, is without worry about tomorrow.
• A disciple attempts to bring out the God-flavors and shed God-colors on even the most impossible of circumstances.
• A disciple risks approaching Jesus as she is and has faith in His healing.
• A disciple experiences doubt but looks to Truth that Jesus is waiting to give.
• A disciple looks to Jesus to multiply and satisfy regardless of limited resources.
• A disciple has the responsibility to give HOPE to her children each day because living without hope is like living without oxygen.
• A disciple goes into the storm with confidence that Jesus has led her there, has a watchful eye on her, and will not forsake her in the midst of it.
• A disciple sees interruptions as opportunities.
• A disciple lets her own agenda die as she identifies with the cross and aligns her thoughts with those of Christ.
• A disciple has humility in relationships.
• A disciple's habits are made known by the fruit she produces.
• A disciples realizes the benefits of daily quiet time-peace, purification of heart, insight/instruction, and strengthening of faith.
• A disciple spreads it all out before the Father in times of bad news.
• A disciple denies self, embraces the cross God puts in her path, and experiences the peace of being in His will.
• A disciples recognizes His supernatural in the day to day and is empowered by the Resurrection.

A Christmas Miracle

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13, 14 NIV)

December should be a time of happy anticipation, one celebration after another. Birthdays (we have many in our family this month), holiday parties, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, my parents' anniversary, New Year's Eve….There is something about all this that makes every clock and watch in my life step into overdrive. It also has a way of making my calendar feel like a bit of a prison. Without fail I get about halfway in and am desperate for a miracle. Something to slow it all down, make me be still and really take in Advent.

Starting sometime in the summer, I began getting email updates from one of my friends that her husband, Ben's liver disease that had been diagnosed 6 years before had started causing severe infections. These infections had reached his blood and were putting him in the hospital for extended periods with the need for IV antibiotics. They were working toward a liver transplant for him which even meant a temporary relocation of their family including four kids between the ages of 14 mos and 9 years to the Jacksonville, Florida area to be on the transplant list with Mayo Clinic. In late November after a few cancelled procedures for transplant and persistent infections, his situation became dire. His family started a crusade to get the word out that if he was going to have a successful transplant it was most likely going to have to come from a designated donation. This meant that a family who was facing the devastating reality of losing a loved one would have to designate that Ben receive the liver from their loved one. In addition to a family having to make this incredibly difficult decision, there were many other factors that had to be just so for it to be a successful outcome.

When I read my friend's update on November 26th with the details of exactly what their family needed to save Ben, I was completely overwhelmed. My heart ached and my mind raced. I was desperate to do something, something to bring out the God-flavors and shed God-colors on this impossible situation. I say that because in my own comprehension, it was an impossible situation.

December made its arrival and the usual bondage to the clock and calendar began for me but with anxious thoughts and pleading prayers being offered up for Ben. There was a day in particular that I was really struggling with doubt. Despite my own healing and experience of God's faithfulness during my breast cancer journey, my mind was plagued with the uncertainty that He would provide for Ben. I heard a few really important reminders that doubting day…#1 Doubt is normal. #2 God always answers our doubt with Truth. And he had. He had already reminded me of Psalm 27:13-14 and was beckoning me to BELIEVE it.

On Tuesday morning, December 10th, I awoke early to the vibrations of my phone proclaiming that a winter storm was on its way and schools were closed for the day. It was also my husband, Blake's birthday so I was ready to hit the floor running. As I reached to the nightstand for my phone, I was stopped in my tracks by an email update from my friend sharing the news that Ben had been in surgery for several hours already after receiving a designated donation from a family who had lost someone in North Carolina.

The hours that followed were full of emotion. I was excited for the chance for a new life for my friend, one that would no longer be about caring for a sick husband and fearing the worst, all while trying to make certain there was no question of love or security in her four kids. I was sad for a family that was mourning their loved one and praying there was an extra measure of comfort in their courageous decision to give life to someone else through their loss. I was amazed that God really had heard our prayers and showed up to provide for every detail of Ben's story. I was ashamed that I had spent any second of the last few weeks doubting that He would.

I am just one of the many who got to sit on the sidelines and watch this epic victory unfold. I am certain I am also just one of the many that were deeply affected by it. This year, Ben's miracle story was the speed bump, the time-out I was so desperately seeking. The days of December marched on but suddenly had a different feel to them. The anticipation was there but the bondage was not. And the anticipation was no longer for the arrival of certain dates
on the calendar, it was for a celebration of the greatest miracle history has ever known, our Savior coming to earth. 

All Glory to God for Ben's life and the gift of Jesus. 

Merry Christmas!

Create in Me...

I have been reading a lot about the heart lately. Aren't hearts pink a lot of times? I know it is kind of a stretch but 31 Days is officially over anyway. {Bet you thought you wouldn't hear from me again for a while. I kinda thought so too but writing has a way of helping me process.}

If I ever lose sight of the importance of the condition of my heart, I pray that I am directed back to the words of Jesus himself from the most well-known sermon He ever gave. (Matt 5:3-7:27)

By five verses into the sermon, I read that I am blessed and will see God when my heart is pure. In case I wasn't sure that to have purity in heart means to have but one purpose in life ~ to love God, He went on to give numerous examples throughout the rest of the sermon.

He alludes to the famous list of do's and don'ts from Exodus known as the ten commandments and confirms that the importance of keeping this “law” was not lost when He came to earth. However, we learn from the New Testament and His sacrifice on the cross, that it is more about what is in our hearts than not committing the acts.

We know well the commandment “Do not murder”, but to be angry and unforgiving toward someone carries the same kind of darkness. In fact, it can lead to a legacy of bitterness that has the potential to hang around a family for many generations.

We have heard it said “Do not commit adultery” but to not push the lustful thoughts aside or control a wandering gaze has the power to corrupt the heart quicker than the body. Knowing this, why wouldn't I put the needs and desires of my husband above my own so the purity of his heart remains secure as well.

And of course we can't forget the one, “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven or on the earth beneath…” I am figuring out that idols aren't just about worshipping graven images but about serving two masters which we know will never really work out. Idols actually come in many forms: iPhones, a desire for an updated kitchen and dare I say it, an addiction to approval (man's not God's).

When I pray or help a friend, that is supposed to be a secret between me and God because there is a reward awaiting in me in heaven that is better than I could ever conceive of on earth (1 Corinthians 2:9). When I choose to await that reward over the applause of others that is evidence of the condition of my heart.

Speaking of rewards, when my heart is pure and I am seeking His righteousness above all, I have access to the gift of a life free from worry. If loving God is my one true purpose, I experience that He does in fact know everything I need and considers me more valuable than the birds. Now there is freedom to trust. And the Xanax-reliant world around me tells me that is a pretty big deal.

So when it comes down to the day when every knee bows and every tongue confesses, there won't be any special "password" and He isn't going to accept my list of "God-sponsored projects" (Matt 7:21-23 MSG). He will already know the heart behind every action. 

Oh how I pray that He might see a heart that was created clean each day (Psalm 51:10) and accept me in with the only applause that matters, the long-awaited applause of heaven.

Day 31

As I think back on the month that will come to an end in just a few short hours, I must admit I am a bit sad. There is always much anticipation about October for me. Because it is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I know it is an opportunity-an opportunity to remember where I have been and to build my altar to God in thanksgiving. I think the anticipation is mostly about doing those two things well.

It all started with a game time decision to join the rest of the 31 Dayers and write consistently for 31 days about how truly blessed I am by the “pink” in my life. As I kept a watchful eye for the pink around me, I found myself in awe of God's whispers and leading through each day. Then with the help of a friend who asked a simple question, another dream was realized and the idea of the “Think Pink” Run/Walk took shape. Through that event, I got to experience the love and generosity of so many as they filled the pink boxes with donations for care packages going to women facing breast cancer surgery.

After walking through another October, my heart is definitely full. I am so grateful for all that followed along, helped me to think pink and cheered me on as I built my altar. I look forward to returning to this place again next year.

A few other photo highlights from the month:

{My husband and I got to have a mini vacation, just the two of us, to St. Augustine, FL which is where we first met in 2001.}

{Our family enjoyed a beautiful fall day at Councell Farms on the Eastern Shore with some dear friends.}

{Our big boy kindergartner lost his first tooth and scored his first goals in soccer.}

{While celebrating the birthday of one of our sweet little buddies, Princess Tinkerbell got to take her first horseback ride.}

{We enjoyed another Halloween with all of our neighborhood friends}

{These are the newest addition to our kits for women facing Breast Cancer Surgery-notecards designed by an extremely sweet and talented friend who is in the midst of Breast Cancer treatment herself. I received them in the mail today, the 31st. Coincidence? Not a chance.}