“To Know God and to
be known by Him-this is an indescribable blessing” – David Jeremiah from When
Your World Falls Apart
I read this statement the morning after my last
surgery, the final big step in my ten-month journey through breast cancer. I try to imagine walking the journey without the truth
of this statement and I shudder. In the agonizing moments of lying on a table waiting to hear the results
of a sonogram, I became acutely aware of what Jesus meant when he told us “in
this world, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33) In the gut-wrenching ten
months that followed, I became even more aware of what He meant when he said “I
am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says, Do not fear;
I will help you.” (Is 41:13) In every step of the journey, in every encounter
with a medical professional, and in every loving deed done to care for our
family, His Presence and His knowledge of me were undeniable.
Although it is not a journey I would have
chosen for myself, I understand that it was part of God’s marching orders so
that I would never forget a few precious truths. When your path brings you to a bend in the road,
it is crucial to have “your people” in place. As we like to say, these are the people with whom you
do life. The ones that are ready and willing to drop whatever they are
doing to text, email, call, pray, care for your kids, cook you a meal or rub
your back when you are overwhelmed with nausea. One thing is certain; we would
never have made it through the last ten months without some amazing friends and
family that know how to love us well. Another important lesson that cancer
teaches is that as much as we strive to maintain control of our lives, we are
always subject to what might be waiting at that next bend. I have come to realize that the only preparation
I can make is to believe that God and His Word are sufficient and we cannot be
consumed. Lastly, cancer has the power to make us stare death in the face; but
it also has the power to give us a longing for heaven like we have never known
before. I pray there is never
a day that I don’t thank the Lord for His healing and the ability to be with my
family on this earth. However, I am more aware that the best is yet to come.
Today was my two-week follow-up with the plastic surgeon.
He is pleased with how the grafted tissue at the areola/nipples is
healing. I was able to have some more stitches removed, and my daily dressing
changes are slightly less involved. Although I had been noticing some
accumulating fluid above the incision along my lower abdomen, I didn't expect
that today's visit would include a rather large needle being used to drain it.
I am due back to see him again in another week with the expectation that
it will most likely need to be drained again. I was also told to lay low for
the next week because the greater the activity, the greater the fluid
accumulation. I am struggling
with feeling a bit discouraged that I have taken a few steps backward
since I really had felt almost normal again prior to this surgery. It helps to see noticeable healing of the tissue every day and to be
amazed that all this reconstruction can even be done.
