Monday, January 30, 2012

Fearing "Normal"

August 24th was a very sad day for me.  Not just because I knew that the next day I would undergo major surgery and my body would forever be different but because I had to say goodbye to my work as a physical therapist for a time.  For the last nine years, I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunities I have had to meet and treat some really great patients.  I have also been extremely blessed to be surrounded by some pretty amazing co-workers who have provided me tremendous support throughout my journey. Today was a big day because it was my first day back at work.
This day did not come without some anxiety for me.  My concerns about returning to work were mostly about it being my first big step toward "normal" again.  As much as I have longed for life as normal to resume, I also fear "normal".  I worry that my times with the Lord reading scripture and praying will not have the same impact on me. I worry that I will fall into a pattern of discontent and forget to be grateful for every sweet moment I have been given. I worry that the perspective that cancer has given will fade and I will sweat the small stuff again. However, as I walked back into "normal" today, I realized something important. If I don't go there, then all that I have learned will be worth nothing.  This experience has without a doubt changed me and I believe I am better as a result of it.  Now is the time to step back into life as normal and make a difference with what I have learned.   

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