It has been a week of remembrance. By this day one year ago I was on my third appointment at
the breast center in a week, that is about as many times as I had been to a
doctor in the year before. The
dark clouds had moved in on Tuesday morning when I went for my
mammogram/sonogram and was told that I had two tumors in my right breast that
were most likely cancerous. By
Thursday, I was back for a needle biopsy of those tumors, and on Friday, my
fears were confirmed by pathology report that I did in fact have Invasive
Ductal Carcinoma. So here I sit a
year later wondering how to adequately memorialize this incredibly difficult
yet life-changing week of my life.
Do I throw a party? Do I
take a trip? Do I go to a spa?
Hmm, these all sound nice. But something in me feels the need to sit and write.
When I first signed on to use the CaringBridge website last
August, little did I know that it would become a spiritual inventory that I
will cherish for the rest of my days.
The initial intention of it was to have a place to where family and
friends could go to be updated on test results and surgery dates. But as I began to write, an emotional
release happened and a record of God’s goodness started to form. I am so grateful for those that have
followed my CaringBridge over the last year. But even if there had been no one
to read it, I would have continued writing. My soul seems to agree with all that I have read about the
advantages of journaling.
I realize that all that is needed to journal is a pen and paper,
and journals are often kept private.
I also realize that people have finite amounts of time, which they might
not want to devote to reading my random thoughts especially when they aren’t
focused on cancer. However, there
just might be some part of my story that resonates and encourages someone
else. Or perhaps some detail of my
journey that I have written about will answer a question for another woman who
has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Maybe my recording of God’s goodness will be my own
spiritual fuel for times when I need it in the future. Writing could potentially boost my
immune system and act as an additional cancer-fighter or so I have heard. These are the thoughts that have led to
my decision to create Pinked Perspective (www.pinkedperspective.blogspot.com)
and wrap up my CaringBridge page. Since
I am a bit compulsive about celebrating dates as well as carrying a task to
completion, I find it appropriate to close up my page with this final journal
entry on this, the one-year anniversary of my diagnosis.
For those that followed our journey through the CaringBridge
this year, we want to say “thank you”. Your thoughts, your prayers, your words
and your kind acts inspired us to keep believing that we would be standing on
this side remembering God’s goodness a year later.
