Sunday, July 29, 2012

Signing Off (of CaringBridge)

It has been a week of remembrance.  By this day one year ago I was on my third appointment at the breast center in a week, that is about as many times as I had been to a doctor in the year before.  The dark clouds had moved in on Tuesday morning when I went for my mammogram/sonogram and was told that I had two tumors in my right breast that were most likely cancerous.  By Thursday, I was back for a needle biopsy of those tumors, and on Friday, my fears were confirmed by pathology report that I did in fact have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  So here I sit a year later wondering how to adequately memorialize this incredibly difficult yet life-changing week of my life.  Do I throw a party?  Do I take a trip?  Do I go to a spa? Hmm, these all sound nice. But something in me feels the need to sit and write.

When I first signed on to use the CaringBridge website last August, little did I know that it would become a spiritual inventory that I will cherish for the rest of my days.  The initial intention of it was to have a place to where family and friends could go to be updated on test results and surgery dates.  But as I began to write, an emotional release happened and a record of God’s goodness started to form.  I am so grateful for those that have followed my CaringBridge over the last year. But even if there had been no one to read it, I would have continued writing.  My soul seems to agree with all that I have read about the advantages of journaling. 

I realize that all that is needed to journal is a pen and paper, and journals are often kept private.  I also realize that people have finite amounts of time, which they might not want to devote to reading my random thoughts especially when they aren’t focused on cancer.  However, there just might be some part of my story that resonates and encourages someone else.  Or perhaps some detail of my journey that I have written about will answer a question for another woman who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Maybe my recording of God’s goodness will be my own spiritual fuel for times when I need it in the future.  Writing could potentially boost my immune system and act as an additional cancer-fighter or so I have heard.  These are the thoughts that have led to my decision to create Pinked Perspective ( and wrap up my CaringBridge page.  Since I am a bit compulsive about celebrating dates as well as carrying a task to completion, I find it appropriate to close up my page with this final journal entry on this, the one-year anniversary of my diagnosis. 

For those that followed our journey through the CaringBridge this year, we want to say “thank you”. Your thoughts, your prayers, your words and your kind acts inspired us to keep believing that we would be standing on this side remembering God’s goodness a year later.    

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