Day 30

It has happened several times this month...as I rode in the car talking to my husband, as I cooked dinner one evening, and most recently as I stood in the hallway at church on Sunday. I kept hearing this song playing in the background. It seemed familiar, like I have heard it before. It gave me chills but also made me incredibly calm. I had to know what it was....  

{If you are viewing this post on email, you may want to view online OR you can click here to watch the video}

Day 29

Earlier in October, our local newspaper had a section dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness. As I read through the pages of articles about Breast Cancer as well as advertisements for local businesses who were supporting Breast Cancer Awareness in one way or another, my eye was drawn to an article that mentioned Radiologist, Dr Daina Pack. Dr. Pack played an important role in my cancer journey. At the time of my first mammogram and ultrasound, Dr. Pack was the one who told me with a crack in her voice that there were two masses in my right breast that needed to be biopsied and the results would most likely be abnormal. While she was the first to deliver this news, she was also the one that performed a needle biopsy on an extremely difficult to find axillary lymph node. I was told she was the best and that she was the one I would definitely want in my situation. It was not a memorable step in my journey but I am thinking she probably felt a little redeemed when she got to be the one to call and tell me the tested lymph node was not cancerous. Read more about that HERE and HERE.

I found the article to be very interesting and not just because Dr. Pack was offering her profession opinion. It spoke of a new Maryland law that went into effect on Oct 1st that requires that when a woman has a mammogram she must now receive as part of her results information about the density of her breasts. About half of all women have dense or highly dense breasts, and from what I understand the younger a woman is, the more dense her breasts are likely to be. Cancer can be missed on a mammogram of someone with increased density because of how similar the dense tissue and cancer appears on imaging. Having this measure of breast density helps women to weigh it against their other risk factors to determine if further diagnostic testing should be performed. Again this all goes back to early detection as being one of the best ways to prevent death from breast cancer. 

Although there is no guarantee that I will never experience recurrence, my cancer was detected early and I was spared a few extra steps in my journey because of that early detection. It is part of why breast cancer awareness especially for pre-menopausal women is so important to me. It is also why I choose to spend my October writing and sharing my heart.

When was the last time you did your self-breast exam, scheduled your mammogram or had that concerning symptom checked by a physician?

Day 28

This is my favorite post that will be published this month. My friend and sister, Jen (she is one of those that I described on Day 25) has agreed to guest post on my blog today. I was so blessed by her participation last year when she provided a guest post on Day 30 of 31 Days: Life Lessons Only Cancer Could Teach. Believe me, you will welcome the break from hearing from me to read the words of such a gifted writer. She blogs HERE and if you are looking for continual encouragement and inspiration, be sure to subscribe!

Her Little Pink Question

“Mommy, why is October pink month?” asks my ever curious 5 year old. She's glancing back at the grocery stand covered in pink ribbon products. I wonder how I would have answered her question had things been different.

What would I have said if my forever friend had never called with cracking voice, “I found a lump…”

The flashbacks come quick bringing a pit in my stomach and chills across my face.

I'm in her guest bedroom, writing a letter of hope begging God she'll open it years and years and years from now, only to remember. I'm throwing my phone in the grass, her husband's news of a double mastectomy and months of chemo pounding in my head. I'm on a couch across from her mom who through tears is steadfastly thanking our Lord for this trial, while the rest of us sob and ask that His mercy would come quick and save. I'm pushing a stroller next to her. Leaves crunch under our feet and we watch our children run ahead laughing. She wears the first hat out of necessity. It covers the clumps that began to fall that morning. And some days there are no words. And all you can do is pray through your eyes.

There are many images and they are different every time I stop and think pink. I don't have her full pinked perspective. But when you've lived even just a bit of pink you don't have an average answer when your five your old asks, “What's with all the pink?”

Before, I may have said, “I'll explain it when you're older, honey. Now grab your granola bars. Let's keep moving.”

Do I wish that were the case? That it had all never happened. Not for a heartbeat. And here in Safeway, two years later I'm thankful she stops me in my tracks. I'm thankful her little pink question interrupts my thoughts of what's next on the list, because I have been given a much better answer.

“Do you remember when Aunt Kara was sick and had to take that yucky medicine?”

“Kind of.”

“And do you remember how we prayed that God would help her get better?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this is the month when we remember that God always hears our prayers. That He healed her, and we pray for anyone else who might be sick like Aunt Kara was.”

The 3 year old blonde interrupts from the cart. “Yeah, cause God loves us!”

And with those words I see my friend, not like she was before the cancer, not like she was during the cancer, but how she is now. Her smile a little brighter. Her steps more purposeful. Her heart overflowing in compassion more than ever before. And I know it deep again. The sweet blonde is right. God does love us.

Truth:

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.“ ~ Jeremiah 31:3

Day 27

Once a month on Sundays, we get to spend an hour and a half with about a dozen precious 3 to 5 year olds in the Coral Reef, our church's preschool wing.  It is truly a blessing especially because the staff of our children's ministry does such a great job preparing for each week.  This week the "Bottom Line" for the kids was "I can always count on God?"  As I sat in our large group time listening to fifty preschoolers shout with all their might "Who can I count on?" then quickly answer with "I can count on God!", I felt privileged.  I felt privileged to have the responsibility of reinforcing this idea along with the truth of Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid...for the Lord your God goes with you." (the same verse I read the morning of my surgery on August 25, 2011, read more HERE) 

They believe it because a few adults tell them it is so but when does the head knowledge that we can always count on God become heart knowledge?  

For me it helps to remember...to remember where I have been and that God met me there...to count my blessings and give thanks.  This is why 31 Days to Think Pink has been such an amazing experience.  

Day 26

Nothing quite prepares you to hear the words “you have cancer”. Although there is comfort in the promise from Jesus himself that we have the help of the Overcomer when trouble shakes our life (John 16:33), being ready to face all that cancer entails is a completely separate thing. I remember the overwhelming anxiety of the unknowns that came with the initial diagnosis. 

Suddenly my life was emptied of priorities, expectations, schedule and I was forced to look at only the day ahead of me. My nurse navigator told me during that first consultation that my head would be swimming for a while but my thinking would become more clear as I was made aware of each next step. This bit of advice was partly the reason that Psalm 143:8 holds such significance.

I should have known my nurse navigator, Amy was to be trusted. I felt that she was a provision from The Lord the moment she stepped into the room and introduced herself that first day. There were others besides Amy that helped prepare me for each step of my journey. For needle biopsies, I had sonogram techs, Amy and Jennifer. For my MRI, I had a tech named Cara. For my genetic testing, I had my friend and sister, Jen to sit next to me and take in the meaning of BRCA 1 and 2's. For surgery, I had my best friend's mom, Debbi and home health nurse, Ann to give me practical suggestions for an “easier” recovery. For chemo, I had my breast sister, Cathy who provided an email of practical suggestions for an “easier” recovery from the poison hangover.

As I sit here two years later recalling all of these special ladies that helped prepare me for each next step, I better understand why it has become so important to me to provide the care packages for women who are about to undergo surgery for breast cancer. It is also why today meant so much to me. 

Today was the first of what we hope will be an annual event to bring awareness to breast cancer while collecting donations for the care packages, or kits. Early this morning in really cold temperatures, we had several friends and family join us for a “Think Pink” Run/Walk. We are so thankful to all who participated and filled our pink boxes with items to help prepare those facing this terrifying next step in their journey.

Do you know of someone that is facing breast cancer surgery and may benefit from some preparation with one of our kits? 

Day 25

Yesterday I wrapped up the introductions to my family for the month.  But there are a few people in my life that although there is no blood relation, I consider them family. They know my heart well because they have stood in the fire with me and waited for the rescue. They have carried my burdens for me countless times when it seemed I could no longer stand up under the weight. And they speak truth into my life when the volume of the discouraging voices gets turned up. 

 I pray that you have a few of these in your life too.  

It was a few of these people that introduced me to the music of All Sons and Daughters.  As I mentioned, they know me well and knew how the voices of these artists would minister to my soul.   

{If you are viewing this post on email you may want to view online or click HERE to watch the video.}

Day 24

It's Thursday! That's family day on the blog this month. Introducing my family would not be complete without writing about these four amazing people, our parents. One of the things I love most about them is the steadfast support and cheerleading they provide in the things that matter the most. They each have a relationship with The Lord and encourage us by example to be followers of His Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives. What an abundant blessing in and of itself! But they also understand the value in our healthy marriage relationship as well as our deepest desires in raising our kids. They are interested and involved with what that looks like on a daily basis.

For example, they appreciate our priority to give our children fond memories of special moments together and want to be a part of those memories. In March of this year we got to take a vacation to Oahu and Maui and spend time with both sets of our parents all together. Because my husband, Blake is from Hawaii we have had the opportunity to visit a handful of times since we met in 2001. It had been six years since our last trip to Hawaii and it was the first time we got to take our kids with us. There is no exaggeration when I say that it was one of the highlights of my life. There are the obvious reasons…it was warm after a cold winter, the most amazing beaches and sunsets are found there, the Humpback whales were in abundance and showing off, the Asian and Hawaiian foods as well as tropical fruits are delicious.

But I think the real reason it was such a highlight was because in light of the struggle we had recently lived through, it was like a dream to spend each day in paradise experiencing God's Goodness with the people I love the most. 

(Click HERE to read more from my blog series from the days we spent in Hawaii following our Rainbow).