Day 9

I am surrounded by a lot of strong women (like the kind that don't get epidurals in order to birth babies). I would never have considered myself one of those. In fact, there have been many a time that quitting came a little too naturally when something got too tough for me. When I think back to the ride home from our consultation with the breast surgeon on the day I was given my formal diagnosis, I remember saying to my husband, “I don't think I can do this.” In those moments, I didn't feel I had it in me to fight. Quickly, I realized there was no choice but to fight.

Being a native of Maryland and always having aspirations of being an athlete, I have become a big fan of the UnderArmour brand. When I realized they brought out a line called “Power in Pink” every October for Breast Cancer Awareness and donated to various breast cancer fighting organizations, I was super excited. I even submitted my story last year in an effort to be one of the 2012 Power in Pink Ambassadors. It didn't happen for me, but that hasn't stopped me from sporting as much of the Power in Pink gear as I possibly can. In fact, I have a new favorite shirt that you just might get sick of seeing me wear!

As I mentioned, in the days before cancer I would never have considered myself much of a fighter. But then I was called out. I was forced to step up, to stretch beyond my limits and go to battle. Now I get to wear a T-shirt that claims it.

This past week, I heard the sad news that my boss and friend lost his mom to Metastatic Breast Cancer. I never met Ms. Donna but in all the stories I have heard there is no better description for her than “Fighter”. She exceeded all of her doctor's expectations, living eight and half years beyond her diagnosis of Stage IV Breast Cancer. She was her own best advocate during her treatment process, thereby inspiring many other women to fight like she did. This post is dedicated to her and all the others who have battled or are currently battling Metastatic Breast Cancer.

Day 8

Day 7

Every morning, I reach to the window sill above my kitchen sink to grab two of these big pink pills. I do this because my oncologist has recommended that a daily dose of Calcium + Vitamin D can help prevent recurrence of breast cancer. Of course, I will seize any and every opportunity to ward off those nasty cancers cells.

This is precisely why every nighttime routine now includes swallowing the little white hormone blocker, Tamoxifen. It is why I have significantly reduced my intake of red meat, increased my intake of spinach, and completely eliminated my intake of soda. It is why I subject myself to “insane” workouts 5-6 times a week. It also why we attempt to shop and cook Organic as much as possible (or at least as much as the grocery budget allows). It is why I stopped using deodorant for a while (you might be pleased to hear that I have started using it again.)

I don't think any of these choices are in vain but the truth of the matter is that I don't know.  I don't think any of us really do. Why are so many more women being diagnosed with breast cancer? Why when it used to be more common in post-menopausal women, are so many younger women now being diagnosed? Why are so many people being diagnosed with all types of cancer?

While I don't believe there is anything wrong with asking such questions and certainly nothing wrong with making healthier choices to prevent recurrence, it really isn't the point. I don't believe I walked my journey to come out on the other end asking these questions. I do believe the point is that life is full of hard stuff. In fact, Jesus said himself in John 16:33 that in this life we will experience trouble. My cancer could return and cancer might not even be the worst of it for our family. The most important point is that there is One who has already overcome it all and through Him I can overcome whatever comes as well. When I choose to open my hands and trust this, that is when I find Peace.

Day 6

The days leading up to my breast cancer surgery were frightening.  I remember trying to walk that fine line between wanting to prepare myself for what was ahead but also not wanting to scare myself with too much internet research.  One of the most helpful things I did was call my best friend’s mom who had walked through it a few years before me.  She gave me a few pieces of priceless advice and followed it up with a package in the mail of button down pajamas.  I was so grateful for the preparation she and a few others offered me that I decided I would one day do the same for others.  With 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 in mind, a few of my friends and I started putting together “kits” to give/send to women who had been diagnosed with breast cancer and were facing surgery like mine. 

The “kits” include:

• A letter written by me-to offer encouragement and outline a few helpful tips
• Button down pajamas-for easy access to the drains during the first two weeks of recovery
• A bar of white Dial Soap-for bathing to protect against infection
• A small journal and pen-to record medications and fluid collected from the drains
• “Pink” Flannel-to be put against the skin/incisions and under the Jobst surgical bra. 
• “Pink” sack-to hold the drains during bathing
•  Jesus Calling by Sarah Young- the devotional that I read throughout my journey which now holds extreme significance for me 

As much as I hate to learn of another woman that is facing treatment for breast cancer, I feel privilege and experience blessing every time I get to help lighten the burden by providing these kits. This is a ministry that I hope to be able to continue for many years to come. Stay tuned for more info on how you might be able to help make that happen. If you know of someone that is facing breast cancer surgery and would like me to send one of our kits, please contact me at Karaham@gmail.com.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort ourselves have received from God.” 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Day 5

If Psalm 143:8 was my journey verse, then Matt Redman's "Never Once" was my journey anthem.  It is now my ringtone so that every time my phone rings, I am reminded that God is Faithful. 

 I have been waiting two years for him to release a new album and on September 24th, Your Grace Finds Me was released.  There is no disappointment in this album for me.  It is running music, it is driving music, it is praising music!  For today's post, I wanted to share one of my favorites from this new album, "I Need You Now".

Or Click here to find it on iTunes.

Day 4

There is an attribute of Jesus that has such great importance to me since two years ago when I walked through my treatment process.  The book of Matthew in the New Testament is full of stories about Jesus healing the sick. {We happen to be studying Matthew this year in Bible Study Fellowship International (BSF) so I am really excited.}  Many came to Jesus with faith that He was the One that could restore their health. Some came with all the faith in the world and some came with that of a mustard seed.

On one of the evenings before my biopsy that confirmed that I did in fact have breast cancer, a group of our friends all came to our house to pray.  We prayed that there would be no tumors to stick a needle into. We didn't pray that prayer just to say it, we really believed that God could do that.  I still believe He could have. But I also believe He uses other means today to allow for healing.  There are amazing minds at work in the field of medicine and advances that were certainly not available in the days that Jesus walked the earth.  

Sometimes the healing comes in the provision of a superb team of doctors that have the perfect blend of compassion and knowledge.  Sometimes the healing isn't physical at all but comes in the whispers of God when we seek him in our distress.  Sometimes the healing comes in the love poured out on us from the community around us.  And sometimes the healing comes when He chooses to take us from this world to enjoy heaven and His Presence forever.

{Today was a reminder of my physical healing through my friends at the Breast Center during my survivorship follow-up appointment. I got to bring a lil power in pink along with me.}

 

Day 3

This handsome man in the pink shirt is my husband, Blake. Yesterday he got dressed for work and realizing what day it was, he came down wearing this. Seeing him in his bright pink UnderArmor was a reminder that I am blessed beyond description to be walking through this life with him. We have been married 10 years this past May, and with every year I am assured that God knew exactly what I needed in a spouse when he gave me Blake. I have blogged about my man before here, here and here, oh and here too.

I have talked about him being the wind in my sails but for our family (please excuse my nerdy anatomical reference) Blake is like the spine. I got the heart part covered, Koa is the brain and Kalea is without a doubt the funny bone. Sure he supports us financially but with his wisdom and understanding of what is truly important, He is at the core of our mission as a family to think like Jesus, be thankful in all circumstances and love each other and others effectively.