Day 3: I really enjoy writing.

I recall from my school days that I absolutely loathed having to write papers. I would prefer an exam over an essay any day. That was until I felt I had something worth writing about. It all started as a means to keep loved ones informed about test results and decisions regarding treatment through the website, Caring Bridge. As I started to record my journey, I found an emotional release occurred, and I could face the uncertainty of each new day because my reflections kept pointing me to God's intimate care and concern for me. My journal became an inventory of sorts, an inventory of the Lord's goodness. So when my health crisis started to move into my rear view mirror, I couldn't help but feel the need to take my writing to a new home. Hence, Pinked Perspective was birthed.

I thought and prayed a bit about the decision to start a blog. Fortunately, the still small voice drowned out Satan's telling me that no one would have time or interest in reading my random thoughts especially since they were centered on the c-word. The idea that there just might be some part of my story that resonates and encourages someone else prevailed.

Once the decision was made to create a blog, I labored over the perfect title to capture the thoughts I wanted to convey. Other than the obvious allusion to the color most associated with breast cancer, pinked is also a synonym for pierced or stabbed. Ding, ding! We have a winner, folks! At least, I hope it is a winner in God's eyes.

Click Here if you have a health crisis and want a great site to help loved ones stay informed. 

Day 2: There is no guarantee in tomorrow.

Prior to July 26th of last year, we were experiencing a season of comfort. Our jobs were stable, we had two healthy babies, and we were settling into our (relatively) new home. We were without any major worries. Then with a quiver in her voice, the radiologist spoke the words, “You have 3 nodules in your right breast and one lymph node that is borderline abnormal.” Suddenly the shoe dropped and in a moment, my tomorrow became a question mark. The weeks that followed were full of testing that would determine how far the cancer had spread and what treatment would be necessary to kill the cancer cells in my body. The weeks that followed were also full of sleepless nights and pleading prayers. I have seen cancer take many friends home to be with Jesus. Would I be around to work that stable job, care for those healthy children and clean my new home? As the days passed and my cancer story unfolded, I discovered that God's plan was for me to fight the good fight and win this time. The cancer had not spread to any of my lymph nodes and was assuredly removed from my breast, along with the rest of the breast tissue that it might potentially attack in the future. But just because I walked through cancer once and did all I could do to prevent its return, it still doesn't mean my tomorrow is a guarantee. For this reason, I take each moment as a gift, stopping to breathe in the Grace and breathe out the thanks.

Day 1: We All Need Community

A spontaneous prayer meeting. Frequent text messages with encouraging scripture. A meal schedule that was filled for 6 months straight. A pink basket overflowing with handwritten cards.  A replaced air conditioning compressor.  Handmade blankets and quilts to keep me comfortable. A Hat and Scarf Party. House cleaning. Back rubs that helped alleviate intense nausea.  A team of 49 members to participate in the Race for the Cure.  Help with meals and baths for my kids on the nights that my husband worked late.  This is what community looks like.  At least this was what MY community looked like when I was delivered the devastating news that I had cancer.  I don’t know how we would have survived if we had not been served and loved so well by our friends.

Here are a few more glimpses of what MY community looks like:

What does your community look like? 

31 Days

This whole blogging thing is so new to me that it often overwhelms me.  Thank goodness for some friends who do it really well.  One of those friends puts out a challenge to write on a topic every day for the month of October.  Would I really have something worthwhile to say every day for 31 consecutive days?  Speaking of overwhelming.  But then I thought of how fun it could be to take an inventory of all that the Lord has taught me over the last year through my journey through breast cancer.  Certainly I could find at least 31 things He has taught me, right?  Then I realized that 31 Days just so happens to coincide with Breast Cancer Awareness month.  I can totally do this!  Here goes...

31 Days: Life Lessons Only Cancer Could Teach
Day 1: We all need community.
Day 2: There is no guarantee in tomorrow.
Day 3: I really enjoy writing.
Day 4: October is one of my favorite months of the year.
Day 5: I love vacations.
Day 6: Hair or no hair, I will always be "Mommy". 
Day 7: My husband is the wind in my sails.
Day 8: I lacked compassion.
Day 9: I long for the "endless hallelujah".
Day 10: Watching the sunrise is one of my favorite things.
Day 11: My body is capable of way more than my mind tells me. 
Day 12: There is no such thing as coincidence.
Day 13: I really love vacations.
Day 14: Jesus IS Calling.
Day 15: I don't have an alien head.
Day 16: I delight in God's Word.
Day 17: Listen to my body.
Day 18: I don't hate the color pink.
Day 19: Only Jesus can turn trial into blessing.
Day 20: If it weren't for cancer, I would have never met...
Day 21: Traditions are important!
Day 22: It's not about me.
Day 23: I have lost my taste for Drunken Noodle.
Day 24: Suffering leads to intimacy.
Day 25: Only Jesus can turn trial into blessing. ~ Part 2
Day 26: Bald can be beautiful.
Day 27: I was in need of rescue from the "hollow motions".
Day 28: Every year counts.
Day 29: I am blessed with a heritage of faith.
Day 30: In the words of my dear friend, "He always shows His Glory".
Day 31: Before I ever got my diagnosis, I already had the cure.
Recap of 31 Days

My Bright Beauty Turns 3!

It hardly seems possible that it has been three years since we welcomed our baby girl, Kalea Mei into this world. We have many reasons why we chose not to know the sex of both of our babies ahead of time. But if I am truly honest with myself and others, I knew that I would need to be looking into the precious face of my child to ease the disappointment if my second born were not a girl. My relationship with my own mom has given me the sweet experiences of things like all-day shopping trips, planning my wedding day and sharing in the births of my babies. The bond between a mother and a daughter is really hard to put into words so why wouldn't my heart long to have that with my own baby growing inside me. When the doctor announced our baby was a girl, all those possibilities suddenly became a reality. My parents say she is just like me: wanting to do everything herself and desperately seeking the approval of her big brother. She is happy, loves people, and is eager to experience life. As all moms and daughters do, we have our moments. One day, our tiffs about using the potty and getting her hair brushed will involve boys and making her own decisions-a day that can definitely take its time coming. For now, we rejoice in the "bright beauty" she lives up to and pray that she would shine for Jesus in all she does. 

My 35th Birthday

All I wanted was to spend my birthday at the beach. After all it is my happy place and birthdays are meant to be happy, right? I enjoyed a grueling workout in the wee hours with Blake so I could go out to indulge in my favorite meal of the day with Blake and the kids before he went off to work. I had the car packed and we were headed for the shore as soon as possible. You know that phrase, "Come hell or high water..."? Well that is a little how I felt about getting to my happy place. Except when that high water can only be crossed by a big bridge that has the potential for delays due to unscheduled maintenance and inspection. As I drove up upon the stand still traffic at the toll plaza, I wanted to cuss but instead i considered the last year of my life. I was reminded that God's timing is perfect and He loves when we bring Him our every concern, even the silly ones about traffic. I had others praying too! And at just the right time when my bladder and my kids were both screaming at me, there was an opening to my left and I could see the "authorized vehicles only" turn around ahead. I authorized myself to use it and we were suddenly free! I am not gonna lie it stung a bit to not get to spend my entire day at the beach but if i hadn't had that time in my car looking at taillights, I might not have stopped long enough to appreciate something...Birthdays are meant for celebration, but not of me as much as of the One that created me and holds my life in His hands. All in all, it was a good day that ended at my happy place surrounded by a few of my happy people with a belly full of yummy pizza and ice cream.

The Dreaded Grocery Run

There are two aspects of parenting that I absolutely despise: potty training and grocery shopping with my kids.  Perhaps it is because the two things completely overwhelm me.  Unfortunately, neither of my children have been those so-called kids that train themselves.  They are actually the kind that require that hardcore commitment as a mom to be house-bound for a week or more and provide endless supplies of chocolate treats (two things that should never go together anyway).  Then there is grocery shopping...if you know me well, you know it is just something I choose not to do with my children if at all possible. (Honestly, Blake does most of the grocery shopping in our household anyway which is a huge blessing.) On those rare occasions that I find myself in a store with my kids in tow, all proper parenting practices seem to fall by the wayside and I resort to bribes, again with chocolate.  Don't judge me!

This past Saturday, Blake was busy for the day and I really wanted to pick up a few things from our local Safeway.  I figured at least they have those nice compact carts with the cool green car on the front that aren't a mile long and hard to steer.  The cool cart with the green car was entertaining for about 5 minutes before they started fighting and asking to be let out to walk.  "I knew I shouldn't haven't subjected myself to this torture" I thought to myself. But I pressed on to fulfill my short list while reminding them of the treat that awaited if we could just get it done.  Finally I made it to the checkout line and not the one that is sugar-free because after all, I had made chocolate promises. As I was waiting to pay, I looked to my right to see Ann, the home health nurse that cared for me in the days after my first surgery checking out at the next register.  Do I say hello? Will she remember me?  Will the kids even allow such a thing?  I decided that I must.

Before I could even finish reminding her of who I was (the last time I saw her I had longer hair and was most likely in my pajamas), she smiled and said “Kara, you look great!  How are you?”  We hugged in the parking lot and I told her how much I appreciated how she cared for me during those incredibly difficult weeks.  If there had been more time and my kids hadn’t been screaming at me, I would have told her how I have passed on the wonderful tips she gave me as part of the kits we give to ladies that go through the surgery.  As I drove home in mostly silence since the kids were consuming their chocolate rewards, I became pretty emotional.  I was reminded yet again of God’s faithfulness almost one year ago and found the date to be no coincidence.  On Tuesday, August 23^th of last year just two days before my scheduled mastectomy the mid-Atlantic region experienced its first ever earthquake.  On August 27^th just two days following my scheduled mastectomy, Hurricane Irene came through and left us in the dark for 4 days. In spite of all that, here I am a year later celebrating my good health with my nurse, Ann in the Safeway parking lot during one of those dreaded visits to the grocery store with my kids, a visit I would normally choose not to take. 

When was the last time God used the most unlikely of circumstances to remind you of His faithfulness?